Never Should Have Walked Away by lillyfan16

Rating: R
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 11/07/2006
Last Updated: 11/07/2006
Status: Completed

Harry notices Hermione had been acting a little odd the last few months, and decides she MUST be
cheating on him. So he walks away, only later to find that he should have been there for her.
Songfic to a song by Craig David. Slightly AU, not a whole lot.




1. Never Should Have Walked Away
--------------------------------

Hey, what’s up everyone? I’ve been listening to my new Craig David cd a lot lately, and this
song gave me this idea for a story. I could have made it into an actual short fic, but I just
decided to make it a oneshot so I wouldn’t have ANOTHER unfinished story, lol. It’s kinda fast
paced, but I just wanted to get it done, so I hope you guys like it! I know I need to update on a
few of my other stories, mainly The Potter Vs. Granger Rivalry, I’m going to be working on that one
next. I actually have a little over three and a half pages done (exactly 3039 words! Yay!) I know I
said I’d be updating more often, but. . .well, things don’t always work out, lol. But anyway, yeah,
here’s my new songfic oneshot. I found out a new thing about myself, I positively LOVE writing
flashbacks. . .lol. I found that out in writing this story! Oh, and er. . .I’m sorry if the um . ..
“love” scenes are all that great, I’m kinda new at this, hehe. But yeah, enjoy! Don’t forget to
review!

**I'd been sitting trying to figure out the reasons why
You were always goin’ out alone
I thought that you were meeting with some other guy
All those times you weren't at home
I was wrong but then i didn't understand
What you were tryna say to me
I thought that you were busy making other plans
And none of those included me
But then i always had to many insecurities
Why didn't i just decide to let it be?


I never should've walked away
I should've been there for you babe
I know I've handled this all wrong
I swear, i didn't know
Things ain't never gonna be the same
And i know I'm the one to blame
I've gone and left you torn, baby
But i didn't know**

**“Never Should Have Walked Away” CRAIG DAVID**



**Never Should Have Walked Away**

“Hey, baby, I was thinking we could catch a movie in the cinema tonight, then maybe stop by
somewhere and get some ice cream or something. Or we could rent a movie and get some ice cream, and
you can come over here if you want to do that instead.” Harry said over the phone as he walked down
a street in London, looking at all the things displayed in the shops. He had just bought Hermione a
silver necklace that had a heart on it with the words “Together Forever” engraved in the back.

There was a pause on the phone before his girlfriend’s voice rejected him yet again. “I’m sorry,
Harry, I can’t, not tonight. I just want to be alone. Sorry, but I don’t really feel like having
company or anything.” Hermione replied softly.

Harry stopped and sighed inwardly before responding, “Yeah, that’s okay. Is everything alright?
Are you sure you don’t want me to come over and we can just cuddle or something? Did you have a
rough day?” Harry could almost visualize Hermione biting her lip as she listened to his offer.

“Sorry, Harry, but I just want to be alone. Maybe tomorrow or this weekend? And don’t worry,
everything’s fine.” Hermione said, though Harry could tell she was lying. . .again.

“Alright, that’s cool, I guess.” Harry muttered, trying to keep the anger from his voice though
he felt his temper start rising.

“Sorry, but I’ve really got to go now. Um. . .call me later?” she asked worriedly.

Harry sighed before saying, “Yeah, whatever. I’ll give you a call tonight.”

Hermione was quiet for a second before saying, “Alright. I love you.”

Harry didn’t say anything for a moment, then said, slightly sarcastically, “Yeah, me too. Bye.”
He hung up. He felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. She did it again. She blew him off to “be by
herself.” She had been doing this a lot lately. It made Harry feel sick to his stomach. He went
behind the nearest bush and Disapparated to his apartment.

Once he got home, he threw the jewelry bag carelessly in the corner, berating himself for even
buying the stupid necklace. It’s not like she deserved it, the way she was treating him.

Harry knew he was blowing this all out of proportion, but he couldn’t help but get the feeling
that Hermione was keeping something-- or someone-- from him. He had always felt insecure about
their relationship. He had always felt like he had to work for her love, like he had to deserve her
devotion to him. She reassured him so many times, but Harry always fell back on his old
insecurities. She was simply perfect, and he wasn’t worthy of having that much love. He wasn’t
worthy enough of being with someone so intelligent, funny, loving, and kind. She was way out of his
league. She always had been. He was just a stupid average boy. Hermione deserved someone
better-looking and with more brains.

“Be alone my arse!” Harry gritted through his teeth, throwing himself on his couch. It made him
so angry. He loved her more than anything, but she wouldn’t give him everything she had. He loved
her with his whole being, and until lately, he had thought she had always done the same. He had
always fooled himself into thinking that his love was enough. He told himself he *was* good
enough to be with her, they had been together for so long.

Could she possibly be cheating on him? But who would she even be with? Did he know him? Did this
guy know about Hermione already having a boyfriend? The more he thought about it, the more he
convinced himself that Hermione was being unfaithful. She acted so different now. She blew him off
constantly. When they got close, she would always distance herself somewhat, something she had
never done before. Hell, they hadn’t even made love in over a week and a half.

Harry sighed and turned over so he was laying on his stomach and his face was buried in his
couch pillow. Would Hermione ever cheat on him? It sounded very unlike her, but at the same time,
she wasn’t acting like herself either. Was he not good enough? Did he not pleasure her enough? Was
he too repulsive to look at? Was he not there enough for her emotionally?

Harry’s head gave a nasty throb. All this thinking and beating himself up had given him a
headache. He groaned and put his hands over his head, hoping to just block out the rest of the
world.

Hermione was HIS girl, had been ever since their first shy kiss in Fifth Year. NO ONE had the
right to touch her like he had. No. Hermione wouldn’t cheat on him. He *was* worthy of her
love. He had to be. He didn’t know what he would do if he wasn’t.

But then why was she so distant? Why didn’t she want to be with him? Why was she so evasive when
she talked about what she had been doing when he wasn’t there? Why would she be so vague unless she
was doing something she shouldn’t be doing?

“Goddammit, Hermione!” Harry swore as he got off the couch, his temper flaring again. Why did
she have to be so difficult? Say she *was* seeing another bloke, she didn’t need him to string
him along as well! She could at least have the guts to break it off with him first. He grabbed his
phone and started to call her, ready to give her a piece of his mind before quickly hanging up.
What was he going to say to her? How could he confront her with his suspicions? Hell, he didn’t
have any *real* proof, did he?

Harry sat back down on the couch, trying to calm himself. He just wanted a reason. A reason why
she always went out alone now. A reason why she lied to him so much. A reason why she wouldn’t let
him touch her. He wanted a reason to why their relationship was falling apart. He loved her so
goddamn much. Harry felt tears start to build up at the very thought of them not being together
anymore. What would he do with himself? They swore they would never stop being best friends, no
matter how the outcome of their relationship. But could he go back to being ‘just friend’ with her?
No, he couldn’t ever do that, he knew. If they broke up, their long friendship would also draw to a
close as well. It would be too awkward. He had touched her in too many private places too many
times to look at her as ‘just Hermione’ again.

Harry stood and went into his bedroom to lay down. This hurt too much. It hurt to think she
would cheat on him, but it was painfully obvious that something was going on, and it looked a lot
like cheating to him. As he laid there on his bed, tears fell from his eyes when he thought about
all the times they had together.

*Harry looked up from his spot on the floor to the couch where Hermione was sitting, simply
reading a book. There was a roaring fire in front of them. Everyone was leisurely sitting around
the Common Room, laughing and joking with their friends. Harry just watched Hermione read, thinking
about how beautiful she was. The fire made her skin take a golden tone and her bushy hair was
pulled back in a quick ponytail except for a loose strand that had fallen in her face, but she
didn’t seem to notice it. Harry looked back down at his half-finished essay before closing his book
and tossing it aside. He stood and kicked his shoes off before climbing on the couch behind
Hermione so her back rested on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her middle and let her head
rest under his chin. She smiled warmly at him before continuing her book, now with Harry reading
over her shoulder.*

Harry restlessly turned around so he was laying on his back with his elbows out and his hands
tucked behind his head. He stared blankly at the dark ceiling, trying to force sleep to wash over
him.

*“So this is the young man that stole our daughter’s heart!” Mrs. Granger said joyfully,
causing Harry to blush. It was the first time he was officially meeting Hermione’s parents. They
had invited him over for the summer to get to know him better.*

*Mr. Granger stared at him crossly. Harry squirmed slightly under his intimidating gaze. He
didn’t look too friendly and looked especially protective over his little girl. Harry tried to put
all his nervousness behind him and make a good impression on them. After all, he planned on being
their son-in-law someday.*

*“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Granger. Hermione has told me so much about the both of you. I’m Harry
Potter.” He reached out his hand to shake Mrs. Granger’s hand first, lightly and in a polite
manner. Next he moved on to Hermione’s father. He looked the man square in the eye and grasped his
hand firmly. Mr. Granger tightened his grip threateningly, but Harry just continued to smile at him
and not flinch or show how bone-crushing the handshake was. Mr. Granger stared at him, waiting for
any sign of weakness before being satisfied that he might be worthy for his little girl. He nodded
politely and released Harry’s hand, for which Harry was grateful.*

*“It’s good to meet you, Harry. Welcome to our home. Please, sit down. Hermione has told us
plenty about you as well.” Mr. Granger’s rough voice said, offering Harry a seat right beside him,
which was far away from Hermione. But Harry sat down and tried not to look too intimidated. He
caught Hermione’s eye from across the coffee table. She was grinning at him, no doubt amused at how
tense he was. He could see mirth in her eyes and grinned back at her. This wasn’t going to be so
bad.*

Harry sat up and tugged his shirt off before flipping around so he was laying on his stomach
with his head resting on his forearms. A sliver of light was on his wall from the small gap between
his drawn navy curtains. He got up from his bed and closed the curtains completely so the light
disappeared. He got back in his previous position on his bed and closed his eyes.

*Harry laughed as he chased Hermione around the couch. She screamed and ran into the kitchen.
All the lights were off and everything had a soft blue glow to it. He snuck quietly into the
kitchen, looking in all directions. He listened earnestly, waiting for her to make a sound. He
heard a giggle from somewhere around his refrigerator. He quickly ran over there, bumping into the
table in his haste. Hermione shrieked when she saw Harry had found her and took off in the other
room. Harry chased her all the way to his bedroom. He looked under his bed, behind the door, behind
the drapes, but found no one. He inched the doors open of his closet and jumped when he felt
someone grab him from behind. He saw no one. He suddenly realized Hermione was using his
Invisibility Cloak. He reached out but felt nothing.*

*“Oh, Hermione, where are you?” He asked, grinning. The door was still shut, so he knew she
hadn’t left his room. He heard her delicious giggle, making his heart beat speed up. “I know you’re
in here.” He said, reaching out in front of him, but once again, caught nothing but air. “Oh, come
on, this is no fair! I can’t see you!”*

*“You big baby!” Hermione cried as she whipped the cloak off so Harry could see her standing
beside his bed. He laughed and rushed towards her. She screamed and tried to run, but Harry dived
after her, making her land on his bed with him falling on top of her.*

*“Caught you!” he said triumphantly, holding her down with his weight so she couldn’t
escape.*

*“Yes, you finally caught me. The only question is, what are you going to do with me?” she
purred in his ear, making him groan softly. “What do you want for you prize?” she asked, sliding
her wet tongue along the outside of his ear.*

*Harry grinned and pushed her down on the bed completely so her body was trapped beneath his.
“I dunno, give me a second and I’m sure I’ll think of something.” he chuckled before leaning down
to kiss her softly. She giggled and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. Harry’s tongue
slipped into her mouth, tasting her over and over as his hands started pulling her shirt up and
finally, after a soft tug, he tossed it away. He sat up to remove his shirt as well before leaning
down for another kiss.*

*The feel of her body move under his was driving him mad with passion. He needed her. She
hissed as he bit her neck softly then the hiss turned into a low moan when Harry soothed the bitten
spot with his tongue.*

*He held Hermione’s hands above her head with one of his own as his other hand caressed her
side. He placed slow, wet kisses along her neck and shoulders before capturing her lips with his
again.*

*“I love you.” He whispered, something he never got tired of telling her.*

*She smiled sweetly at him and huskily replied, “I love you too, Harry, more than anything.”
Harry smiled and kissed her again.*

Harry growled and felt tears slide down his now wet cheeks. They had so many happy memories, so
many good times. Why would she ever cheat on him? God knows he’s never even *thought* about
entertaining the very idea of being with another girl. He was with Hermione; she had his heart and
soul. He had thought it worked vise versa between the two, but evidently it didn’t.

*Harry walked up the steps that led to Hermione’s flat with a bouquet of wild flowers in one
hand that he had freshly picked himself from the flower shop and a new book in the other. He knew
Hermione had been wanting it for awhile. He knocked on the door before opening it and walking in.
She wasn’t in the sitting room so he moved on to her bedroom. It was empty as well. Harry called
her name and the bathroom door suddenly opened, Hermione rushing out of it.*

*“Harry!” she said, her voice higher than normal. “What are you doing here?” she asked
quickly.*

*Harry noticed her edginess. “Are you alright?” he asked worriedly.*

*“Of course I am.” Hermione replied distractedly. “I didn’t know you were coming by.”*

*“Oh, I just thought I’d surprise you. I, uh, picked up a few things for you.” He said, still
a bit worried but tried to ignore it as he handed her the flowers and book.*

*Hermione smiled and thanked him with a lingering kiss.*

*“Thanks. You didn’t have to get me this, Harry.” she said, though Harry could tell she was
quite pleased with it.*

*Harry smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, “I know, but I wanted to. I love you.” He
dropped a kiss on the top of her head.*

*“So, what have you been up to?” he asked as she led them into the kitchen so she could put
her new flowers in a vase and water.*

*“Nothing, I was thinking about going to my parent’s house. I haven’t really had the time to
see Mum in a few weeks so I thought I’d drop in and spend the day with her. A little
mother-daughter time.”*

*Harry’s smile faltered a bit. He had been hoping to be able to spend the day with Hermione,
but it looks like his plans had been foiled. “Oh. That sounds nice, I’m sure she’ll be pleased.”
Harry tried to say cheerfully.*

*“Yeah, it will be nice. Actually, I should probably get going. Thanks for the flowers and
book, Harry. And I’m sorry to be rushing off like this, but I don’t want it to get too late. I love
you!” she said, giving him a quick hug and kiss. She started to walk away but Harry grinned and
pulled her in for another kiss, a longer kiss.*

*“I love you too.” He breathed in her ear, hugging her tightly to his body. They stood like
that for a few more moments before leaving.*

*Later, Harry was sitting with Ron in Ron and Luna’s flat. They had somehow gotten into a
discussion concerning goblin rebellions and were arguing whether it had occurred in 1403 or
1443.*

*“Look, mate, it was in 1443, trust me. This was one of the times I actually paid attention in
Binn‘s class. Luna told me if I didn’t ace the next test, I could forget all about snogging her for
a week. It was 1443.” Ron was saying while dumping some popcorn in a bowl.*

*Harry laughed. “No, it was 1403. The first rebellion was in 1243. I think you’re getting them
mixed up.”*

*“No, I’m not getting them mixed up. Where’s Hermione? Call her if you don’t believe me!
She’ll set you straight.” Ron said confidently.*

*Harry laughed again. “She’s with her mum. But I suppose I could call her real quick, just to
show you up.” Harry was glad he had a reason to call her, he missed his girlfriend already. He
decided to call her mum’s house first.*

*“Hello?” he heard her mum’s voice answer.*

*“Hi Sharon, this is Harry. How have you been?” he asked.*

*“Oh, hello Harry! This is quite a surprise. I’ve been doing pretty good, and how about
yourself?”*

*Harry smiled, “Not too bad. Things have been going pretty well.”*

*“That’ good. How’s Hermione been?” she asked pleasantly.*

*Harry froze. How has Hermione been? Hermione was over there, why did she need to ask him.
“Um, she’s doing fine. A little stressed with work, but I’m trying to get her to relax a
bit.”*

*Sharon laughed, “Yep, that’s our Hermione. Stresses over everything. It’s a good thing you’re
there to make sure she doesn’t work too awfully hard. She needs a good balance or she’d work her
poor self to death!”*

*Harry forced a laugh.*

*“You two need to stop by and see us sometime. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen either of you!
I know Darrel would love to see you and Hermione.” Hermione’s mum said cheerfully, causing Harry’s
sudden suspicions of Hermione not being at her mum’s to be confirmed.*

*“Yeah, we’ll do that soon. I’ll have to talk to her. I just wanted to call and say hi and see
how you two were doing.” Harry said, wanting to get off the phone. Maybe Hermione just hadn’t made
if over there yet, he told himself.*

*“Well, thanks for being so thoughtful, Harry! It was great hearing from you! You two need to
get over here and see us sometime soon. I’ll make us all a fabulous dinner.” she said.*

*Harry nodded, “Well get over there soon. It was great talking with you, Sharon.”*

*“You too, hun. I’ll see you later.”*

*“Bye.” Harry said before hanging up.*

*His stomach was in knots. He looked at Ron and could tell Ron had a bit of an idea of what
was going on. “I thought you said she was going to be at her mum’s.”*

*Harry didn’t say anything and quickly dialed Hermione’s cell phone number. She answered after
a few rings.*

*“Hello?”*

*“Hermione.” Harry said almost desperately.*

*“Hi, Harry. What’s up?” she asked innocently.*

*Harry didn’t know what to say. Should he ask her where she was? “Um, nothing. I jus wanted to
see what you were up to.” Harry lied.*

*“Oh, I’m just sitting here with Mum. We’re having dinner at some small place outside
London.”*

*Harry’s gut tighten as he listen to her lie. What was she playing at? Should he tell her that
he had just called her mum and ask where she REALLY was? He decided against it. She must have had a
good reason for lying to him. He still felt sick, but tried to play it off. “Oh. . .um. . .that
sounds nice. I’m just here at Ron’s, and we were talking about the goblin rebellions. Was there one
in 1403 or 1443? I say it was in 1403 and Ron says 1443. Which is it?” he asked, though now he
suddenly couldn’t careless which one it was.*

*“You guys were talking about goblin rebellions? Wow, I’m proud of you two. But sorry, it was
neither. I think you guys are talking about the rebellion taken place in the year 1416. A little
off, but you two were close!”*

*“Yeah, um. . .well, that’s all I wanted. I’ll talk to you later then.” Harry said uneasily,
wanting to get off the phone as soon as possible.*

*“Alright babe, I should probably get back to my mum, she says hi by the way.” Hermione
responded, making Harry’s knotted stomach clench even more.*

*“Yeah, tell her I say hi too.” Harry replied, wishing she would just hang up already. He felt
as if snakes had been let loose in his stomach, and every second longer he stayed on the phone, one
more snake seemed to appear and writher painfully in his stomach.*

*“Love you!” she said, causing Harry to almost groan aloud in emotional pain.*

*“Me too. Love you, Hermione.” He quickly shut the phone and it fell from his numb fingers.
Ron stared at him.*

*“Is everything alright?” He asked, eyeing Harry worriedly. Harry just looked at Ron
blankly.*

*“We’re were both wrong.” He whispered softly, feeling his stomach give a nasty throb. He
rushed to the bathroom and retched in the toilet. Hermione, his wonderfully perfect Hermione, had
lied to him.*

Harry’s eyes were unfocused and wet. That had been the first time he caught Hermione in a lie.
There had been others, that was just the beginning. Every time it hurt just a little more. Harry
pulled his legs up to his chest and laid on his side, his arms hugging his folded legs so he was in
a small ball. He didn’t move and silently cried to himself. He didn’t call her like he said he
would.

000

The next few days went by painfully slow for Harry. He avoided Hermione and she didn’t seem to
notice much, and if she had noticed, she wasn’t saying anything about it. He went through the day,
went home, and just laid on his bed. When he finally did go to Hermione’s for awhile, they just
laid on her couch together and watched a movie. Harry was paranoid the entire time. He couldn’t
stop himself from wondering if this other guy had held her like this, right here on this very spot.
He got a sick feeling and thought he was going to pass out. Harry left before the movie was even
half over. He couldn’t stand to be around her when he was suspecting that she was cheating on
him.

Now it had been a week since then, and Harry still held onto her. He wanted to give her time to
confess. He wanted her to just admit it or give him some explanation for her odd behavior so they
could move pass this. But no confession or explanation came. Harry was getting tired of holding on.
He loved her more than anything, but he couldn’t do this much longer. He just had to get away from
it all. Evidently she wasn’t feeling remorseful for her unfaithfulness, which proved she didn’t
care for him like he had always thought she had.

Walk away. He needed to just walk away from it all. It was his only option. The more he let her
string him along, the more it was going to hurt in the end. She didn’t want to be with him anymore,
she showed that in the most obvious of ways. She showed him every time she rejected his dates.
Every time she put *more* distance between them. Every time she lied to his face. No, he
couldn’t do it anymore.

Harry took a deep breath as he stood outside Hermione’s flat door. This was it. He knocked
softly and waited for her to answer.

“Harry!” she cried, smiling at him. “What are you doing here?” she asked, moving away from the
doorway so he could come in. She noticed his low spirits. “Is something wrong?” she inquired
slightly worried.

Harry’s broken heart crushed when he wondered vaguely if her worry was even genuine anymore. “I
need to talk to you.” He tried to say coldly, though it hurt him to treat her so.

Hermione’s face faltered a bit, “Oh, uh, ok. Let’s go into the sitting room.” she led the
way.

Harry stood in the once-comfortable room stiffly. How should he approach this? He didn’t want
anything long and drawn out. No, he just wanted to make it as quick and as painless as possible. It
was much easier that way. Yes, just get to the point then get out.

He ran his hand nervously through his already messy ebony hair. “Hermione,” he began, looking at
her beautiful face, “I. . .I don’t know how to say this. It’s just that, lately--” he stopped and
tried again. “See, I’ve felt as if--.” He stopped again.

“Harry, just say it.” Hermione said softly, reminding Harry what he was about to lose. Lose to
someone else. Sudden anger and grief filled his entire being and the thought of breaking up with
her wasn’t so hard to swallow now.

“How could you!?!?” he asked vehemently, his eyes blazing in anger.

Hermione cowered slightly at his anger before asking in confusion, “How could I what?”

Harry looked at her incredulously. Like she didn’t know she was lying to him! “Oh come *on*
Hermione, I know you’re not that thick. You know, for being the most intelligent witch in our year,
you sure are stupid! I can’t do this anymore! I’m not some doormat that will play the role as your
boyfriend whenever you want me to!” He yelled angrily.

“Harry, I don’t know--” Hermione began but Harry cut her short.

“Like hell you don’t know!” Harry roared. “I’m sick of it.. The constant lying. Completely
detaching yourself from me. What, am I not good enough for you? Is that why you had to get someone
else?!?! I get you everything you want, even when you don’t ask me to! I have been faithful to you
ever since I was eleven for Merlin’s sake!” He bellowed, kicking her couch to stop himself from
acting rash.

“Who--?”

“Do I not pleasure you enough? You won’t even let me touch you now! Funny, that never seemed to
be the case before! You seemed to be enjoying yourself when we in fucking in your kitchen or bed or
even at your *parents’* house, begging me to fuck you faster or harder. Telling me how
*great* I was. How I knew *exactly* what to do! What? Were you faking it for my sake?! It
sure as hell didn’t seem like it!

“Harry, I--”

“But now you have someone else making you scream, is that it? You have someone other bloke
fucking you senseless in your bed?!?!”

Hermione was in tears now, and Harry suddenly felt his heart break. He was being too harsh, he
knew, but he couldn’t help himself. The thought of another guy even *fantasizing* about
Hermione made his blood boil.

He took a deep breath and turned away from her, refusing to break down and take her in his arms
and comfort her. “Look, Hermione, I came here to say that this is it. We’re done. I can’t handle
your lying and deceiving. You lie about where you go. You lie about what you’re up to. I love you
more than ever still, but,” tears journeyed down his cheeks as he continued, “but this hurts too
much, Hermione. I know we said we’d always stay friends, no matter what ever happened between us,
but I don’t think this could ever blow over enough. I can’t handle seeing you with this new guy.”
he said softly before giving her one last look and leaving, feeling numbness sweep over him. He
heard her call desperately after him, but he just walked away and soon Disapparated.

Harry Apparated into his apartment and went straight to his room. Hot tears slid down his
already wet cheeks as he buried his head into his pillow. He felt so betrayed. He loved her, and
this was what she did to him. It wasn’t fair. He never thought it would come to this. He had always
pictured them getting married and being together forever, as corny as it may have sounded. Meeting
your True Love at age eleven and being together ever since age fifteen.

Who was he trying to kid? She was out of his league. She deserved someone better. He tried to
convince himself that *he* could the One, but it was clear that it was all just a fantasy. She
wanted to be with another guy, otherwise she wouldn’t have lied and distanced herself with him.

Harry’s breathing was uneven as he cried from heart break. He bawled for hours, not knowing what
to do with himself. There wasn’t a ‘Harry and Hermione’ deal anymore. No, now it was ‘Just Harry’
and ‘Hermione and Her New Guy.’ Harry couldn’t help but loathe the lucky bastard, wherever he
was.

Harry sobbed in his room until finally, a restless sleep washed over him.

*Harry heard Hermione moan loudly in his ear, causing him to shiver with pleasure. “Oh God!”
she groaned, pulling him tighter against her.*

*Harry slowly moved within her, driving her mad. He loved her like this. He loved the way her
body writhed beneath him. The sweet smells of sweat and sex ensnared his senses and he buried his
head into her neck so he could inhale her more. Her arms pulled him closer still as her uneven
pants filled the room. Her nails were digging into his smooth, slick-with-sweat back, no doubt
making bloody half moon crescent indentions in his skin. He welcomed the pain, hissing at the
pleasure he derived from it. He groaned loudly in the back of this throat. “Oh Merlin
Hermione!”*

*Her grip suddenly loosened, and her pants seemed softer, as if they were coming from
somewhere else and no longer under him. Looking down, his fogged senses cleared when he realized
Hermione was completely motionless and looked dead. He stopped his movements in panic and called
out her name but got no response. He shook her desperately, yelling her name now, but she still
looked lifeless. Tears threatened at his eyes.*

*He heard a moan, causing him to stop. Hermione still remained mute and unmoving. Harry heard
it again, louder this time. Looking around the room, he saw the door was ajar and light was coming
from the other side, as well as the noise. He slowly stood and slipped into his blue boxers before
peeking though the door.*

*His heart dropped.*

*Hermione and another bloke were making love in. . .his bed? He gasped and yanked the door
open, completely furious. No, this couldn’t be Hermione. She was in the other room with him! She
was still lying on the bed. He whipped his head around to make sure and gasped when he saw the bed
he had been making love to her on just seconds before was now empty. He returned his attention back
to the other Hermione and entered the room. The couple didn’t show any sign of noticing his
presence. He couldn’t clearly make out the bloke’s profile, but could tell right off the bat he was
well-toned and handsome with his perfect tan and wavy brown hair. Hermione had her eyes shut in
intense pleasure as her screams grew louder and louder with each passing second. No, this guy was
not going to do this to her in HIS bed! No, Harry was absolutely bloody enraged.*

*“Hermione!” Harry said loudly, disbelievingly while trying to control his tears. Hermione
ignored him. Harry tried to push the guy off her, but his hand went right through him. “No, get
off! GET OFF OF HER!!!” He screamed, but his efforts were in vain. The bloke would not budge and
they both seemed unfazed by Harry’s screams.*

*“Hermione!” Harry cried with tears in his eyes, “Please, stop, no! Hermione!
HERMIONE!”*

“HERMIONE!” Harry screamed, bolting up, panting heavily as he looked around the dark room. His
room. He was in his room again, the sound of Hermione’s pleasure no longer filling the empty room.
Harry was covered in sweat and was breathing as if he had just ran a marathon. He felt his stomach
give a nasty lurch and quickly rushed from his bed and into the bathroom where he got sick over and
over.

The image of Hermione having sex with that mystery bloke was imprinted vividly in his mind,
making him queasy and disgusted. He took a deep breath and sat down with his bare back against the
wall, leaning on it for support. He bent his knees and let his forearms rest on them, drooping
slightly. He leaned his head against the wall and wiped his sweaty face. Harry waved his hand and a
cool glass of water appeared at his side. He used it to rinse his mouth out, spiting repeatedly in
the toilet, then Harry just sat there on the linoleum floor, trying not to think about Hermione or
how jealous and enraged he had been in the dream or how much he wanted to run straight to her right
now and cry for hours on end.

00

Harry stared blankly at the wall opposite of him with red bloodshot eyes, still in the position
from the previous night. He had barely moved a muscle all night. He feared going back to sleep
because he was afraid he might have another nightmare in a similar nature as the one the night
before, and that was the last thing he wanted to think about.

So instead, Harry thought about where he could have gone wrong, over and over. Had he forgotten
a special day and Hermione had run off to someone else for comfort that had eventually led to sex
that was meant to be just a one-night-stand but she found she couldn’t give him up? Was he better
at sex than Harry? Was he better looking? Did he have more brains and could hold a more
intellectual conversation with Hermione?

Or maybe it hadn’t been just quick comfort sex that Hermione had needed once. Maybe he had been
a friend for awhile and Hermione couldn’t help but fall in love with this bloke.

Either way, it left Harry feeling ill to his stomach. And hurt. It was as if someone took a dull
and rusty knife and plunged it into his heart, then twisted it painfully over and over to torture
him further.

Harry didn’t know how long he sat there, unmoving and completely out of it. He barely registered
someone calling his name from a different room in his apartment. He still didn’t move: He had no
energy or desire to do so. Finally, the bathroom door burst open and Ron rushed in, worry evident
on his face. He looked down at his pale and helpless friend, slight relief sweeping over him at
finally finding Harry.

“Harry. . .?” he asked uncertainly, moving closer to crouch down beside him.

“What?” Harry asked, his voice emotionless, still staring blankly at the wall.

“What happened mate?” Ron inquired cautiously. Harry just shrugged in response. “How long have
you been sitting here?” Once again, Harry shrugged his reply.

“Ever since last night,” His voice was unfeeling and unattached, so unlike his usual mood.

Ron’s eyes grew wide, “Mate, it’s almost seven in the evening! Don’t tell me you’ve been sitting
here all night and day!”

Harry still refused to meet Ron’s blue eyes with his red bloodshot ones, “I guess I have.”

Ron shook his head fearfully, “What’s going on? Luna stopped by Hermione’s for a visit and. .
.she was in a right state, wouldn’t tell Luna what had happened. But. . .uh. . .I guess she
repeatedly referred to you as a ‘right bloody heartless bastard.’ What’s all that about? Since when
has she *ever* called you a bastard?” Ron asked, crouching closer as he tried to get in a more
comfortable position.

“Nothing, Ron. Don’t worry about it.” Harry replied indifferently, though is insides were
burning. Hermione was calling *him* a right bloody heartless bastard?! She was the one that
was cheating on her partner!

“‘Don’t worry about it’?” Ron repeated incredulously, looking at his best friend as if he had
gone mad. “I know it would take a lot more than a small fight to put you two in such states. Don’t
tell me it-- Will you bloody fucking *look* at me at least?!” Ron asked angrily, shaking Harry
violently to get some reaction. Harry, unfazed by Ron’s assault, slowly turned his shaggy head to
look Ron in the face. Ron’s eyes widened even further at he sight of Harry’s face. His eyes were
red and puffy and there were tear-streak stains down his smooth cheeks from intense crying and lack
of sleep from the night before.

“Mate. . .” he whispered softly, “you need--”

But Harry’s voice broke him off, “Don’t tell me what I *need*, Ron. I’m *fine.* Just.
. .just leave me the bloody hell alone. I want to be *alone*.” He gritted through his
teeth.

“Look, Harry--” Ron began again, but Harry cut him off a second time, more anger present in his
voice.

“Get out.” Harry commanded menacingly, his red eyes starting to brighten as rage roughly--
painfully-- shook though his body. “Get OUT!!!” he roared, causing Ron to jump fearfully. The
lights began to flicker on and off and the bathroom started to shake violently. Ron hurried from
the bathroom and out of the apartment.

Once Ron left, Harry’s emotions calmed down and he continued to sit in the now dark (the
flickering must have caused the light bulb to go out entirely) room and stare at the wall that he
could barely see.

Harry hardly moved for the next few days. He just sat there, unblinkingly, looking off into
space. The knife seemed to grow duller and rustier every hour, twisting more and more
painfully.

By Monday morning, he knew he needed to go to work. Running on zero hours of sleep, Harry still
managed to shower and get to the Ministry. Everyone seemed surprised at his current state, but when
inquired about the cause of it, Harry would lash out at them. Soon, everyone stopped asking and
steered clear of him.

He barely ate. Food seemed to have lost its taste, and anything that he *did* managed to
get down was puked right back up. His stomached couldn’t hold food right now, it could scarcely
hold water.

His sleeping pattern had taken an abrupt change as well. Tossing and turning constantly was a
nightly ritual. He couldn’t get used to sleeping alone. It had been hard enough the last few weeks
of their relationship. But now that he knew she *wouldn’t* be in his bed again, and he
wouldn’t see her tomorrow, it made it all the more difficult. He was afraid of what his dreams
might have in store for him too. Seeing Hermione with another man was absolutely heartbreaking and
he didn’t know if he could stomach to see it again, even if it was just in his dreams.

Hermione. Harry’s heart and stomach gave a painful lurch every time she crossed his mind, which
was almost continuously. Despite the wrong she had to him, Harry still loved her more than life
itself and cried every night because of how their relationship had ended and what she had done to
him. He waited for her to call, anything to tell him if wasn’t true. If she denied it, Harry would
immediately believe her and beg for forgiveness, no questions asked. He was desperate. He laid on
his bed with his cell phone in his head, waiting for it to ring with her on the other end.

But no call came. She never denied it. Harry’s waiting was in vain.

Ron dropped by again to see how his best mate was doing. He still didn’t know what was going on.
Harry nor Hermione would say a word. Instead, they would both be their miserable stubborn selves,
neither willing to be the first to break down, despite how much it was near killing the pair of
them to be this way.

He found Harry laying down o his bed with his hands tucked comfortably behind his head, staring
at the ceiling.

“Hey mate.” Ron greeted softly, sitting down at the edge of Harry’s messy bed.

Harry half-heartedly lifted his right elbow in response.

Ron sighed, “Harry, I know this is killing you and this is the last thing you want to hear right
now, but this just isn’t healthy. Wasting yourself isn’t going to patch things up between the two
of you; it’s just going to make matters worse. Have you looked at yourself lately? It’s been two
weeks. You’re chalk white. You never sleep. Your eyes are mad bloodshot from the no sleep that
you’re getting and all your bawling. The latter is understandable, of course. But you barely eat,
and what you *do* eat gets retched back up. You’ve completely withdrawn yourself. It’s
worrying me to death. I don’t honestly understand how you can make it through the day. I know it’s
hard, but maybe you should talk about this.” Ron said softly. Harry could tell how upset his friend
was.

Harry remained silent for a few minutes before croaking roughly, “How’s Hermione been doing?” as
much as it hurt to say her name or ask about her, Harry couldn’t stop himself. He knew he was
practically cleaning the wound with salt, but he didn’t care at the moment. He hadn’t seen or heard
from her since that wretched night in her apartment two weeks ago. To him, her well-being was far
more important than his own.

Ron sighed again, “She’s not holding up so well, though she *is* taking better care of
herself physically. Forces herself to eat three decent meals a day. It’s bloody heartbreaking to
watch the pair of you like you. I honestly think you guys should talk about this, if not with each
other, then at least confide in me or Luna, or bloody *someone*. I think it will be loads of
help.” Ron admitted with a tad bit of confidence.

Harry just shrugged, “Not now, Ron. You don’t understand, I. . .I *can’t* talk about it
now, it just hurts too goddamn much, you know?”

Ron nodded in understanding. “Do you want me to hang out tonight, help take your mind off
things?” Ron asked hopefully, trying to be of some sort of help to his best friend.

Harry considered his offer before shaking his head slowly. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’d
rather just to alone right now, Ron, but thanks for the offer. I appreciate it.”

Ron nodded disappointedly. “Alright, I understand, mate. But give me a shout if you change your
mind and decide you want a bit of company, okay?” he said, looking at Harry with a small smile.

Harry gave a nod and said, “Thanks, I might take you up on that offer after while if I get
lonely.”

“Well, bye then. Hopefully I’ll see you later.” Ron said, though he and Harry both knew Harry
wouldn’t give him a shout later.

“Yeah, you too.” Harry replied, giving a small wave.

With a loud *crack*, Ron Disapparated out of Harry’s apartment.

For the rest of the night, Harry just laid there, wishing more than anything that Hermione would
give him a call.

00

Harry had finally been able to get a few minutes of sleep around 3AM when his cell phone started
ringing loudly, waking him almost immediately. He blinked a few times and groped blindly through
the darkness to the green glowing light letting him know where his phone was. Not bothering to look
at who was calling, Harry flipped the phone open and said hello, hoping it was Hermione. Who else
would call this late?! Surely it had to be Hermione. He cracked a bit of a grin at that
thought.

“Hello, am I speaking to a Mr. Harry Potter?” A female voice asked on the other end. Harry
didn’t recognize it.

“Um. . .yeah, it is.” He replied uninterestedly, wanting to get off the phone. It wasn’t
Hermione so he didn’t care.

“You know a Ms. Hermione Granger then, correct?” the unfamiliar woman asked in a businesslike
tone.

Harry immediately became alert at the mention of Hermione’s name. “Yes, why do you ask?” he
inquired as he reached to turn on the brass lamp that sat on his bedside table and slowly got out
of bed.

“This is Maggie Springland from the London Hospital--”

Harry cut in, “Hospital?!” he asked, his voice breaking slightly and his eyes wide. “What
happened?” he demanded.

“Ms. Granger seemed to have slipped and had a bit of a nasty fall earlier--”

Harry cut her off again, “A fall? Is she alright?!” he asked worriedly, searching for his
shoes.

“That’s just it. She’s being patched up right now. She will be needed escorted home most likely
sometime soon. I found your number on her cell phone, so I thought--”

“I’m on my way right now.” Harry replied sharply before quickly putting on his shoes and
grabbing his car keys. He still had his day clothes on; he hadn’t bothered to change for bed.

Harry rushed to his car and made his way to the hospital, praying to every god he could think of
that she was okay. The events and feelings of the last two weeks seemed to suddenly disappear.
Hermione needed him!

He got to the hospital in record time and ran inside to the welcome desk.

“Hermione Granger!” He said quickly, trying to control his uneven breathing.

The older woman looked up at him. “The patient’s name, I’m presuming?” she asked, to which Harry
nodded quickly. “I’m sorry, sir, but visiting hours were over hours ago.”

Harry shook his head, “No, Maggie Springland just called me. She told me my girlfriend had a
fall. Wanted me to come in right away.” he explained impatiently.

The desk clerk picked up the telephone and dialed a few numbers, “Maggie Springland, please. .
.Yes, hello, I have a young man here to see,” she paused and put her hand over the mouthpiece. “Who
is it that you are here for?” she asked.

“Hermione Granger. I’m Harry Potter.” He answered hastily.

The woman continued on the telephone, “It’s a Mr. Harry Potter here for a Ms. Hermione Granger.
. .send him up? Room 110? Alright dear.” she addressed Harry once again. “You are to go to the
third floor and room 110.”

“Thanks!” Harry muttered before running to the stairs and hurried to Floor Three.

A woman stood near the elevator as if she was waiting for his arrival. She watched him enter
through the entrance leading through the stairs, slightly surprised. “Mr. Potter?” she asked. Harry
nodded and walked over to her.

“How is she?” he asked worriedly.

“She’s resting at the moment. I’m afraid she lost the baby but she’ll be okay.”

Harry nodded then froze when her words registered fully in his mind. . . the baby? He looked at
the woman strangely before asking timidly, “Um. . . the baby?”

Maggie looked up at him from her clipboard, “Yes, her baby. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you
this; it’s a most tragic accident. The baby had been squashed by the fall.” She said softly, a look
of sadness taking over her features.

Harry still stared at her blankly before squeaking again, “The *baby*?”

The older woman gave him a funny look, “Were you close to Ms. Granger?” she asked. “Your number
had been on her phone *many* times so I assumed you would be the best person to call.”

“Yes, I’m. . . I’m Hermione’s boyfriend.” Harry said, not quite sure what else to say. How could
Hermione have been pregnant? Surely she would have told him. “Uh. . .how far along was she?” He
inquired uncertainly.

“A little over ten weeks.” Maggie replied sadly, glancing down at her clipboard.

“Did she know? I mean, she wasn’t showing, but could she tell herself?” Harry asked, his heart
pounding erratically in his ears.

Maggie nodded. “Yes, she would have been able to tell by now, most women do around their third
or fourth week. Missing her regular monthly period would have rose plenty of suspicion. So I think
it’s safe to say Ms. Granger knew. Uh. . . am I correct in saying that you are the father?” she
asked tentatively, looking at Harry.

Harry’s mouth suddenly went dry. *Was* he the father? Ten weeks; a little over two months.
Hermione had been acting odd for about the last five weeks of their relationship, which meant
Hermione was three weeks pregnant by then.

Harry mentally tried to figure out all these calculations before abruptly stopping. He had
reasoned that Hermione had been acting so different because she must have found a new bloke, but,
really, he had no *real* proof. Another thought struck him, what if she had been acting so
distant because she found out she was having a baby and didn’t know how to tell him? Maybe she was
afraid how he’d take it. Hell, she was probably scared shitless about herself about it! *They
weren’t even married!*

“Sir?” Maggie asked, breaking Harry from his new conclusions.

Harry looked up and felt immediate guilt. All this time he had suspected her of being
unfaithful. “Yes,” he said, looking down at his feet, completely ashamed of his actions. “Of course
I’m the father. She just never had the opportune moment to tell me, I suspect. Can I see her now?”
he asked desperately.

Maggie gave an understanding nod before asking him to follow her to Hermione’s room. Harry
entered the room cautiously, inhaling slightly at the sight of Hermione. She looked as beautiful as
ever. Two weeks had been far too long. As Harry walked closer to the hospital bed, he took notice
of the purple bruise on her left temple and the bandage on her left wrist. He pulled a chair up
close to her bed and softly took her smaller hand in his. It as so warm and soft. Harry missed her
touch. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes as he stared at her.

He let him mind wander back to the baby. He and Hermione had created *life* together.
*Their* baby. It was an amazing thought. He had always wanted to have children with Hermione.
He never planned on it being so soon, but eventually there would be little Potters running around.
The happy tears that had began at the very sight of Hermione soon turned into sorrowful tears.
Their baby was dead. Only ten weeks old and it never got to see the world. It would get the chance
to see it’s mum and dad or go Hogwarts. Never get to play Quidditch or use a wand. Never get to
have children itself someday. He brought Hermione’s warm hand up to his lips and pressing a soft
kiss on the smooth skin before laying his head on her softly rising chest.

Dead. He could barely wrap his head around the fact that he had gotten Hermione pregnant, let
alone the baby already losing its life. How could this happen? How could *their* baby die?
Harry felt far worse than he ever had in his life. Did Hermione already know? How did or will she
take the news? Harry knew she was-- or will be when she found out-- completely and utterly
devastated. It was such a horrible thing to happen. How could they be able to make it through this?
Would they be able to make it passed this? Would Hermione even want to? Did they still have a
chance to be together? Could Hermione even feel the same way about him after all he had said and
done? She most likely *hated* him with all her being. How could he ever even try to apologize
enough for not being there to help her? To prevent her from falling?

Why couldn’t she just have told him in the first place so he never would have suspected her of
cheating? It would have definitely made things a lot easier. Did she think he would have been angry
and leave her? On the contrary, Harry would have felt completely elated. The very thought of
*him* being the father of Hermione’s baby . . .wow, it was frightening yet very exciting. She
could have at least *hinted* at it.

Harry’s thoughts suddenly stopped at that notion as a conversation that he had had with Hermione
about six of seven weeks ago popped back into his mind.

*Harry and Hermione were leisurely laying at the park under a large tree that provided plenty
of shade. Harry was leaning his back against the tree with Hermione’s back to his chest as she
quietly read a book. Harry took another swig from his water bottle when Hermione asked out of the
blue, “Harry, what do you think about having children?”*

*Harry spit the water of and looked at Hermione with wide emerald eyes. “Uh. . .children?” he
asked weakly as she turned around to face him.*

*“Honestly Harry, it’s not that shocking of an idea, is it?” she asked in an amused voice,
rolling her eyes. “Yes, children! You know, the little things that are usually the outcome nine
months after unprotected sex. They grow inside the woman until finally, they come out
her--”*

*Harry quickly put a finger over Hermione’s lips to mute her explanation. “Yes,” he responded
hastily, “I* know *what children* are*! It’s just. . .why? Why are you asking me
this?”*

*Hermione smiled softly, “Just wondering what you thought about having children with. . .err.
. .with* me*.” Hermione muttered as a scarlet tent took over her cheeks.*

*“Oh, of course I want to have children with you. . .someday. Not today or anything. But,
well, after a few years of having you to myself once we’re married, then . . .um. . .you know. .
.we can. . .uh. . .have a little kid together. . .or two! However many you want.” He finished
awkwardly.*

*Hermione nodded, “Yeah, someday.” before wistfully returning to her book, letting Harry calm
down from the slight shock from the thought of having children.*

Harry looked suddenly sick to his stomach. She must have been testing the waters, trying to
judge his reaction to the thought of having a child before dropping the bomb on him and telling him
there was one on the way. No wonder she never told him! He had all but straight out told her he
didn’t like the idea of having a child right now.

Harry mentally kicked himself in the arse, curing himself for his lack of tactfulness and
abundant thickness and stupidity. He was so horrible! If only he had been more supportive and
interested *then*, she would have most likely told him that she was pregnant. And if he had
known, how would he have reacted? Been completely scared out of his wits and more frightened than
he ever had been in his life, but at the same time, impossibly overjoyed. He would have been even
more overprotective of Hermione, being up her arse constantly. And because he would have been
around even *more* than he normally was, Hermione never would have had the chance to fall and
have the miscarriage. It was his fault she had lost he baby. How was he ever going to be able to
live with himself?

After staring blankly into space for a few more minutes while holding tightly onto Hermione’s
hand, Harry finally fell into a restless sleep.

00

Harry felt Hermione shift under his head, which had returned to it’s previous position on her
chest, and woke up. He watched Hermione yawn widely and blink a few times, no doubt letting the
passed events wash over her before registering that someone was holding her hand. Harry could see
the mixed emotions in her eyes as she stared at him. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to kiss him
because she missed him so much and it seemed as if it had been far too long and she just wanted to
tell him everything because he was giving her such a loving look, but at the same time, she wanted
to slap him for hurting her so much and acting like such a bloody prat!

Her eyes narrowed, “What are you doing here?” she asked coldly, causing Harry to flinch.

“The doctor or whatever called me around three and said you had had a nasty fall. I think they
didn’t want you to be here alone.” Harry said lamely. Did she know about the baby?

“Well, I’m fine, so you can go home now,” Her voice was like steel and she couldn’t meet his
eyes.

Harry brought his hand up to rest under her chin before forcing her to look at him, “Do you
*really* want me to go?” he asked softly. Hermione remained silent.

“Have you talked to the doctors at all?” Harry asked as his eyes became watery.

“No.” Hermione replied softly. “Why?”

How was he suppose to tell her this? She was the mother of the baby. It was so heartbreaking.
“Uh. . .Hermione, I don’t know how to tell you this, I’m sorry, but. . .” He whispered with tearful
eyes, feeling as if someone was squeezing his heart painfully in his chest.

“Why? What’s wrong, Harry?!” Hermione asked fearfully, her hand clutching his numb arm.

“The baby. . .” Harry choked. “You fell pretty hard, Hermione. It. . .somehow, when you landed.
. .I’m so sorry, Hermione. There’s nothing they could do; it’s a horrible thing t happen, but you.
. .” his voice cracked and he looked at her as tears gathered in her cinnamon eyes.

“I-I lost the baby, didn’t I? Hermione asked in a voice overflowing with sorrow and
heartache.

Harry could only nod as he watched sadness and grief sweep over Hermione. She broke down in
uncontrollable sobs and Harry did the best to try to comfort her. He held her tightly in his arms
close to his chest as her tears mixed with his shirt and his own fell into her bushy brown hair
that he had always loved to play with.

They both sat there, clinging on to each other for dear life, completely swallowed by grief by
the death of their unborn ten-week-old child. Neither knew what to say, no words could express
their remorse for everything: the accusations, the fight, the hurtful words and feelings, the
miscarriage, the reunion. . .

00

The ride home was silent. It was terribly early in the morning, both groggy from lack of sleep
and puffy-eyed from the abundance of tears. Harry drove to his apartment, not wanting to leave
Hermione alone. They made the quiet walk to his door, then his bedroom where Harry closed the
blinds and curtains before curling up next to Hermione under the covers and letting a restless
peaceful sleep claim him.

When he awoke, Hermione was still asleep and he was slightly shocked to see they had slept well
into the afternoon. His room was still dark, but Harry could see the sunlight fighting to invade
his room through the curtains. He watched her sleep for a few minutes before easing quietly out of
bed and into the kitchen, where he proceeded to make them both something to eat.

He returned to the room to find Hermione awake and staring up at the ceiling with the beside
lamp on. It was such a familiar and welcoming sight that he missed terribly.

“Hey you,” he said softly, carrying in two plates of food. Hermione looked over at him and tried
to give a weak smile.

“Hey,” she whispered, sitting up.

Harry got back on the bed and couldn’t help but kiss her softly on the cheek in greeting. “I
made us some food. I didn’t really have much in there, but uh. . .I found your favorite: macaroni
and cheese with hotdogs!

“Thanks.” Hermione said gratefully before digging into her plate.

Harry watched her eat before looking at his own food. He pushed a piece of cheese-cover hot dog
around in the macaroni and cheese before asking hoarsely, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Hermione paused in her eating but didn’t meet his eyes. “I was afraid of what you might say. You
seemed scared at the idea, so I tried to think about the easiest way to break it to you, but. . .I
just kept putting it off, I’m sorry.”

“The idea *does* scare the bloody hell out of me, but I still wish you would have told me.
I would have been thrilled too.” Harry said softly, trying to keep the bitterness out of voice.

Hermione gave a sorrowful moan, “I know, I’m so sorry, I just. . .please don’t be angry with me.
I don’t think I could take it right now.” she said tearfully.

Harry felt like a jackass all of a sudden and mentally berated himself. Now wasn’t the time.
“I’m sorry, I just wish you would have told me.” He reached up to cup her cheek in his hand.

Hermione nodded.

Harry took a deep breath. It was his turn to be the regretful one. “I’m sorry for acting like
such a prat, Hermione. I was just so scared that you had found someone better. I felt like you were
always blowing me off. All the lies and you seemed like you didn’t want me anymore. I just jumped
to conclusions. I know you would *never* cheat on me, I just. . .I wanted a reason and I guess
I tried to make up one. I handled it all wrong.” Harry’s voice started to choke, “I’m so sorry. I
never should have walked away like that. Away from you , away from. . .our baby. I was so
*stupid*. This is all my fault.”

Hermione didn’t say anything for a moment before taking both their plates and dropping them
carelessly off the bed, making them crash to the floor, causing Harry to flinch. She turned off the
lamp then pulled Harry’s shirt off and laid back down, pulling Harry down with her. She put her
head on his chest and closed her eyes.

“We both messed up. I kept something from you. I lied and said I was going to be somewhere when
I really was going to the doctor’s or just taking walks alone. I was afraid to be around you. It
killed me to lie to you like that, so I tried to just stay away. I’m sorry. I should have told you,
I know, but, as pathetic as it sounds, I convinced myself I was somehow protecting you, I dunno
what from, but it was my excuse. This. . .it’s no one’s fault, don’t blame yourself.” she said
fiercely.

“And I was so scared that I tried to make it seem like you were cheating on me. I thought you
were sick of me or something, and was trying to give me some sort of hint. I’m so sorry. I know it
was a ridiculous idea. And I said so many horrible things. I know I could never apologize enough. I
left you and our baby. If only I had tried to talk to you or-” Hermione shushed him with her
finger.

“It hurt to hear you say those things to me, to think you would suspect me of being so vial and
*cheat* on you, but it doesn’t matter now. It’s partly my fault. I had it coming after lying
and keeping the baby from you. I can see why you may have thought I was cheating. But Harry, I want
you to know I love you. I would never do anything to purposely hurt you like that. It’s going to be
hard for us for awhile, considering everything, but Harry, we’ll make it. I know we will. We love
each other. We’ll make it through this and everything else. I love you so much.”

Harry nodded and hugged her closer to his chest, whispering softly, “I love you too. We’ll work
this out, I know we will.” Things weren’t alright between the two of them yet, he knew. There were
still lingering questions and hard feelings, but it was a start. Hermione was back in his arms,
where she should be, and together, they could mourn the loss of their baby, and hope for a brighter
future. Next time, Hermione wouldn’t keep her pregnancy from him and Harry. . .Harry wouldn’t walk
away.

**I remember it so clear when I got the call
It was the hospital on the phone
They told me how you slipped and had a nasty fall
And would i come and take you home
Now that was bad enough but they had more to say
Felt like the words came out so slow
"I'm afraid she lost the baby but she'll be ok"
And I didn't even know
But now I see I should've been there from the start
Instead of letting it all fall apart**

**I never should've walked away
I should've been there for you babe
I know I've handled this all wrong
I swear, I didn't know
Things ain't never gonna be the same
And I know I'm the one to blame
I've gone and left you torn, baby
But I didn't know


I didn't know what was wrong
Girl i didn't know, no
I hope you know I never meant to hurt you girl
But I was way too blind to see
That you were only tryin to protect me girl
I wish you'd had more faith in me
Now I realize that I've let you down
And you had reasons to act that way
I thought that you were cheatin when you weren't around
That's why I had to walk away
But girl looking back
In spite of all that you've been through
I'm asking is there still a chance for me and you**

**“Never Should Have Walked Away” CRAIG DAVID**

So, what did you think? Good, bad, it bombed? Like I said, I know it’s fast paced, I just needed
to get this stupid thing written so I could move on with my other stories! PLEASE review, they give
me motivation to write more often, which means you guys get quicker updates! Oh, and I started a
new story, “Stolen From Me” (one about my best friend) so don’t forget to check that one out if you
haven’t yet! Thanks for reading and I hope to update soon!

Until Next Time,

*~Archie~*



